Something told me while creating this post, it would have to be called ‘Angsty Writer’.
That’s how I feel a lot of the time. Justified? We’ll see…
Recently I have put myself under a lot of stress trying to figure out what journey I should take as a writer. So many questions keeping me up at night, such as:
“What’s my first move?”
“Am I good enough?”
“Can I make money?”
“If I make money am I a sell out?”
“Do I want to be a badass business woman or a creative bum?”
“Can I help others without looking like a scam?”
“Should I do it on my own, or with partners?”
“Self publishing or traditional – both?”
“Should I just become a publisher?”
“Am I becoming too industrial?”
“Will my audience believe in me?”
“WHY CAN’T I SLEEP?!”
“I really want some coffee…”
I have stopped myself drinking coffee on the weekdays because of my awful ability to get to sleep at the moment. If you know how much I love coffee, that’s the amount of commitment I’m giving to these thoughts.
A year and a half ago I started working in the publishing industry. As an aspiring author I was excited to learn the workings of a real publisher. Not so much anymore – although I’m still grateful for what I’ve learnt! This little image I had carried since I was seven years old, of publishing being all about writers gathering round to discuss the next big story, was completely shattered.
Now I can’t help but wonder what little me could possibly do to change this – to create a publishing platform for the writers. Is that possible? I started this blog to gain exposure – but could it be more?
In honesty, I’m terrified of the move into the industry more so than trying to write for it.
More questions to keep me up at night…
At the rate I’m going, you may have just witnessed the birth of a new angsty blogging series!